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Rigorenag
I don't think you ever have to explain love to a child. In fact, I suppose as adults we can learn a lot about love from children. As adults, we often equate explanation/understanding to dictionary meanings, bullet point answers, lengthy articles and wordy quotes. Children demonstrate love without being able to articulate the meaning in words. When I taught Grade 2, there were times I had to be a little strict/firm with the children. I would go home feeling a little sad that I came down too hard on some of them about discipline or homework. And the next day, as soon as I entered the class, those very kids would come running to me, full of enthusiasm, to narrate their stories or give me a quick high-five or just hang around me. That's affection. To me, that is love. I would look at them at the moment and feel so grateful for this time that I'm spending with them. As an adult, if someone spoke rudely to me or didn't behave well with me on a particular day, I could never go back the next day and go on as if nothing ever happened. But kids take fresh measurements every single day. They're forever forgiving and welcoming. And even if say that a child is really angry/upset with you, you could walk down to the little one, sit by their side and apologize sincerely. 9 of 10, the chances are that the child will accept your apology and move on. I can't say the same about adults. :) Even after you apologize honestly, you could never tell if you've really been forgiven. ''Children see love because that's what they look out for. '' Perhaps this is something, we forget to do as adults. There's a lot we should learn about love from children and the best way to do it, is by simply observing them. :) -- Ok, this is tricky... In explaining love to a child over 7, I'd just say that love is a special word, like relationship, parent, freedom, home, independence, ethical - they seem like they describe something that just is, but really, they're a thing you do. You hear grown-ups talk about love like it's a place to go or leave ("we realized, after a year, we were in love" "we weren't in love any longer"), something that makes you do good or bad things ("you wouldn't do that if you loved me!"), or a reason for dealing with things ("well, I guess you put up with a certain amount of crap when you're in love"). "Love" is a strange, crazy thing to pin down this way, isn't it? That's because they're using it as an expression only. Really, love is a verb (or action) that looks like a noun (or thing or state of being). Here's what love really is: It's this great feeling you get to have with someone else, when they want to sit and play with you even when they didn't pick the game, when they will watch a movie with you (even a really scary one) even when you picked the movie. If you have an argument, saying sorry really does make it ok - and sometimes you don't even need a sorry, just a hug will do. You can be silly and stupid and goofy and they will laugh with you (and not make fun of you). When you're sad, they just hug you and let you cry, and tell you it will be ok (and you actually believe it). When you need help, they're the one you call. They keep your secrets, and are even part of some of the best ones. They help feed your dreams, goals and adventures, they cheer you when you win, hate people who hurt you, and help you get over feeling sad. They make you that, however you feel, whatever you do that day - you're ok, and just being you is perfect. Pretty great, right? How do you get that kind of support and affection? Well, the first is be born - parents do this (or should). Ok, how else? Well, you sit and play with someone even when you didn't pick the dame. You watch a movie with someone even when they pick it. If you have an argument, say you're sorry (even if it's not your fault). Don't make fun of them when they're silly or stupid or goofy - laugh with them. When they're sad, hug them and let them cry. When they need help, do whatever you can to offer it when they can. Keep their secrets, even when you are part of them. Be happy for their wins, angry at the people who hurt them, and help them get over feeling sad. Make sure they know that, however they are, however they feel, whatever they do, they're perfect - just for being them. That's love, and that's why it's work. You have to do a lot, sometimes more than you get. But you have to believe that it's all worth it - and it really is. Loving someone is worth so much, sometimes more than being loved. The only way you get that, though, is to work hard at being great at loving someone else. Sometimes they won't love you as much. Sometimes they'll love you more. Even though it's hard to believe, it really doesn't matter - the most important thing is being able to love someone. Getting really great at that is what makes you great at finding people who are great at loving you back - and there is nothing better in the world. You deserve it. Now give me a hug, and go play. For a child under 7, I'd just say: Love is what your daddy and I feel about you. We love you all the time, no matter what. There's nothing you can do, nothing you can say and nothing you can think that would make us love you even a tiny, teeny bit less. We are very proud of you, we love you exactly as you are - and you make us very, very happy. Now give me a hug, and go play. -- feel that, if emotions in general are a black box to you, then love may be difficult to explain. I have the urge to compare it to other sorts of emotions because it's always easiest to describe an idea by describing its cousins. I want to be clear that love is more than the sum of its parts, so the things I describe here, while parts of love, can't explain the whole. Love is an emergent property of these parts in the same way that the world we move around in is an emergent property of quantum mechanics -- understanding quantum mechanics tells us important truths, but it doesn't tell you anything about sensation or the experience of picking up a rock that is built of the matter that's held together by such tiny interwoven forces. Some people may also disagree with me as to what love feels like. I know that some people would say lust is love, and I'd disagree with them even though I think lust can be a layer of love. Different instances of love also feel different, even when the love is being felt by the same person. Love for my child feels different from love for my partner, and love for one partner might feel a bit different than love I felt for some other partner, and love for a close friend might also feel different. The most notable hallmark of love as I experience it is empathy. If I love someone and they are in pain, it causes me emotional pain. It ties up my mental energy, thinking of them and hoping they'll be okay again soon. It's not an intellectual thing, really. It's not like thinking, "That's too bad. I wish it weren't the case." It's more like the pain has replicated, a virus that jumped from my loved one to me. Love can also involve fear. This is particularly prevalent in parental love. Because love involves being pained by the pain of those I love, it also involves fear of that pain. Love of one's child causes this in a particularly strong way, and that's probably for evolutionary reasons that have led us to, at our core, not want our offspring to be removed from the world or damaged. The intellectual aspect of it isn't really in my mind when I fear for my daughter though. Love probably sounds sort of horrible as I've described it so far, and it can be. It's also extremely pleasurable though, or else people wouldn't want it so much. Love usually involves liking the loved one quite a bit, though the liking can wax and wane. It usually involves pleasure in the person's company. When it doesn't, it might involve a feeling of connectedness -- of being interwoven with that person in some way. This seems to be the sort of love that family members who can't stand each other might nonetheless feel. Love can feel like being high -- it can cause a cascade of emotional pleasure. If that's hard to understand, the only comparison I can think of would be physical pleasure, and I'm sure you must experience physical pleasure sometimes. Physical pleasure isn't really the same as emotional pleasure any more than pleasure from a foot rub is the same as pleasure from ice cream (in fact, it's far less similar than foot rub pleasure versus ice cream pleasure), but in a very broad sense (and probably in a biological sense) I guess pleasure is pleasure. If you have strong emotions about your own well-being and happiness, you might just imagine love as being like that, except focused on someone who isn't you. I hope I've been helpful. It's very difficult to describe. As you said, it's like trying to describe color to a blind person.